


You'll Be The Death Of Me (I'll Die, But Not For You)

by Synnerxx



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Developing Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Forced Orgasm, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jealousy, M/M, Making Love, Multiple Orgasms, Obsessive Behavior, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Behavior, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Study, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 19:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12660039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: Corey finally gives Jim what he's always wanted from him. Jim gets a little too caught up in his own head.





	You'll Be The Death Of Me (I'll Die, But Not For You)

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a pwp, but then feels happened and then jim had Thoughts about things, so it turned into a stream of consciousness/relationship study thing. there will be a companion piece from corey's side.

Jim exhales the smoke from his cigarette. “You don’t love me.”

“What are you talking about?” Corey frowns at him. “I just said I did.”

“No, you love me when it’s convenient for you to. When you aren’t getting what you want from Joey. When you want attention. That’s when you love me. But you don’t love me any other time. So you don’t really love me.” Jim explains, a calmness settling over him. He’s made his peace with the way Corey loves him a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean he wants to hear Corey lie to him either. 

Corey rolls his eyes. “That’s not true.” 

“Sure it is.” Jim flicks ashes off of his cigarette. 

Corey watches him, staring at him like he’s trying to figure out his next move. “Why do you think I don’t love you?”

“I suppose that’s the wrong way to put it. You love in the only way you know how. Rather you don’t love me in a way I want you to.” Jim takes a drag. 

“How am I supposed to love you then?” Corey looks confused. 

Jim looks away from him, over the view of the city at the sparkling lights that glitter in the dark. “You don’t love me the same way I love you.” 

“Is this about Joey?” Corey asks, still looking confused with where this conversation is going.

“No. I don’t know. Maybe.” Jim shrugs, glancing at Corey before he looks back over at the city. 

“How am I supposed to love you? What do you want?” Corey steps closer to Jim. 

Jim doesn’t move or look at Corey again. He takes another drag off of his cigarette, wondering what he wants from Corey anyway. He knew what he was getting into when he slept with Corey the first time. He knew that Corey wouldn’t ever love him like he loved Corey. Corey was and still is too busy loving Joey. 

Jim tries not to be bitter. After all, he knew what he was getting himself into, but he’d resisted Corey’s magnetism for so long now. Always being careful to never let anything be serious, any hint that managed to escape that he felt more for Corey than he let on was treated like a joke. He laughed it off, made it unimportant, because he knew better. He told himself he knew better. But sooner or later, Corey always gets what he wants. 

During a lull in his and Joey’s on again - off again relationship, he’d come to Jim and Jim was weak, thinking maybe, well, things could be different. He opened the door and let Corey in, in his room, in his heart even more than he already was. He couldn’t help himself. Corey came to him and wanted him. He said all the right things. Of course he did. Corey always knew just what to say to get what he wants. 

Jim’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice Corey moving closer to him until Corey is taking his cigarette away from him and dropping it to the ground, stepping on it. He lets Corey back him up against the wall, looking down at him. He’s struck again by their height difference, knowing that it has to look absurd from the outside. Corey, so short compared to himself, pinning him against the wall. 

Corey holds him there, looking up at him for a long moment, and Jim has to wonder what he’s thinking. Corey’s not hard to read if you know how to do it and Jim’s been around long enough to know how to do it. He’s loved Corey long enough to know. 

Corey reaches up and winds his fingers in Jim’s hair, pulling him down into a kiss. It’s soft and careful, almost as if Corey is afraid Jim will break if he pushes too hard. Jim doesn’t know what to do except kiss Corey back. What else can he really do anyway? He’s always going to love Corey, no matter what. That’s never going to change. He knows that. He knows himself well enough to know that. 

The kiss lingers, Corey’s fingers tangled in Jim’s hair. Jim makes a soft noise as Corey’s other hand comes up and cups his cheek. He leans into the touch, the kiss going on and on. He’s ashamed of the tears stinging the backs of his eyes and struggles not to let them fall. He doesn’t want to show Corey any more weakness than he already has tonight. 

Corey finally pulls back enough to break the kiss, staying close to Jim, breathing in the same air as Jim does. His voice is soft and rough with emotion when he does speak. “I do love you, okay? I do. Maybe it doesn’t make sense to you or maybe it’s not how you’re supposed to love someone, but I love you. As best as I know how.” 

Jim swallows hard and nods a little against Corey, leaning into his touch now.

Corey exhales softly, a shiver passing through him as if he’d been worried that Jim would have pushed him away, telling him he doesn’t know how to love, that it wasn’t good enough. He kisses Jim again, unable to help the emotions that spill over into it. He knows Jim can feel it too by the way he trembles, his fingers curling Corey’s shirt, holding tight to him. 

Corey lets the kiss linger again and then pulls back to smile softly at Jim. He takes his hand, leading him back into the hotel room, closing the sliding glass door behind him. 

He takes his time in undressing Jim, running his hands reverently over each part of Jim’s soft skin as it’s revealed to him. Jim lets him, never in a hurry or a rush to get things done, even when they maybe should be. 

Corey guides Jim back to the bed, laying him out once he has him completely naked. He strips off his own clothing and stands at the end of the bed, taking in the sight of Jim laying out before him, bare and hard as he looks back at Corey, waiting to see what he will do. 

Corey crawls into the bed with Jim and hovers over him, holding himself up so they don’t touch, even though he really wants to just press every inch of their bare bodies together. He leans down as if to kiss Jim, but he stops with their lips centimeters apart. 

Jim makes a soft noise of discontent when Corey doesn’t move, holding himself above him. He lifts his head and closes the gap between their mouths, kissing him needily. Corey moans, laying down against Jim, shivering as their cocks throb against one another. Jim’s guitar-roughened fingers skim over Corey’s back, raising goosebumps in his wake. 

Corey slides his mouth over Jim’s jaw and onto his neck, nipping and kissing and sucking marks onto his pale skin. Jim whimpers, tilting his head to give Corey better access. 

“What do you want?” Corey asks, voice breathless against Jim’s skin. 

“You.” Jim answers easily. 

“I can feel that.” Corey rocks his hips down against Jim’s deliberately. 

Jim gasps, lashes fluttering against his cheeks. “Oh, fuck.”

“I can fuck you if you want. Or…..” Corey trails off, nipping at Jim’s pulse point, feeling it thunder against his lips.

“Or what?” Jim asks, panting. 

“Or….I can show you how much you mean to me.” Corey lifts his head and meets Jim’s gaze, blue locking on green.

Jim’s breath stutters in his throat at the look in Corey’s eyes and he nods slowly. 

Corey smiles at him, bright and happy, pleased with his answer. “Good. I wanted to do that.”

Jim nods again, unsure of what to say. He’s not used to this side of Corey, doesn’t quite know what to make of it since he rarely sees it. The softer, sweeter side of Corey is usually reserved only for Joey and Jim has made his peace with that too. He knows what is and isn’t meant for him because this is not how Corey loves him. This is how Corey loves Joey. Jim isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do with this because this isn’t for him. 

Corey’s hands slide over Jim’s torso as Corey leans down to kiss him again, moving over Jim. Jim shivers at Corey’s soft touch, still uncertain as to what it means for him, for them, for their dynamic. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to do or how he’s meant to behave. 

He lets Corey have control because Corey always has control. He’s all too happy to follow Corey’s lead in bed, in life, in the band. Wherever Corey goes, it’s likely that Jim will follow as long as he’s allowed to do so. He doesn’t look too hard at that because he knows Corey doesn’t feel the same as he does, not as intensely as he does anyway. 

Corey breaks the kiss, hands still caressing over Jim’s chest and ribs. He stares down at Jim and Jim’s afraid for a moment to open his eyes. It has occurred to him on more than one occasion that Corey is doing this just because he knows how Jim feels about him and pities him for it. That’s why every encounter with them is almost always about rough, dominating sex. It’s never slow and sweet with them. Jim doesn’t want to open his eyes and look up into Corey’s and see that pity there. 

As long as he never sees the pity he imagines, then he can pretend that Corey loves him in a way he understands. He can tell himself that Corey feels something for him. Something more than just friendship and lust. He can lie to him. 

Corey’s fingers on his cheek make him open his eyes. “Hey, you okay? You went somewhere else for a moment there.”

There’s a kindness and a concern in Corey’s eyes. It’s directed at him and there’s something else there too. Something that looks like love and that’s directed at him too. It makes the breath catch in his throat and he doesn’t know what to do with Corey looking at him like this. 

“Jamie?” Corey asks, fingers stroking Jim’s cheek. He almost never uses that nickname unless he wants something or is really, actually worried about Jim. 

Jim finally manages to unstick the words from his throat and push them over his tongue. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? You were really far away. Where did you go?” Corey asks, reaching down with his hands and grabbing Jim’s, bringing them up by his head on the pillow, lacing their fingers together. 

Jim’s still hard, can still feel the arousal burning through him, simmering in his blood. Corey is too. He can feel Corey’s length against his belly as Corey presses their bodies together. He can see the heat in his blue eyes. The words tumble out of him before he can help himself. “Do you really love me or is this some kind of pity thing? Has it always been some kind of pity thing? Because if it is, you can stop. I don’t want your pity. I’m not that pathetic. I can handle you not really wanting me. That’s fine. I just don’t want your pity. You can be with just Joey.”

Corey blinks, obviously not expecting the word vomit that just happened. He takes a moment to sort through the rush of words while Jim squirms beneath him, now quite uncomfortable. He tightens his hold on Jim’s hands when Jim makes to pull away. “Be still.” He says mildly, still thinking. 

Jim immediately stills underneath him. His breathing has quickened, sharp little pants that make his chest rise and fall faster than normal. Corey can feel it against his own chest. 

“I don’t pity you. Why would I? I don’t pity anyone and I certainly don’t do the pity fuck anymore. You know me better than that. Jamie, I do love you. Maybe, maybe it’s not a normal person’s definition of love or I don’t act how I’m supposed to with someone you love, but I love you. The only way I know how to love you. It’s not pity and it never was. It’s not because Joey and I are on again - off again. It’s never been about mine and Joey’s thing. Our thing has always been about us.” Corey looks down at Jim and Jim can see the sincerity in Corey’s eyes. He’s telling the truth. 

Jim nods and leans up for a kiss, face still red. He’s not used to confessing his feelings like that. That’s way more Corey’s style than his own. Everything that Corey feels is written plainly on his face and then spilled out into the air, words dancing with whatever emotion he’s feeling. Jim doesn’t do that. Jim holds himself way more reserved. He plays his cards close to his chest and prefers to let others do the talking if he can help it. 

Corey kisses Jim deeply, fingers skimming over his arms as he lets go of his hands. Jim rocks his hips up into Corey, wanting more, growing a bit impatient now with how long he’s been turned on. It’s his own fault for having his feelings out everywhere, but he feels better for it. He doesn’t like how vulnerable he feels, but he’s not afraid of Corey now, of the way Corey feels about him now that he knows the truth. 

He thinks he should have known earlier because they’ve been doing this for years, almost since the very beginning, almost as long as Corey and Joey have been doing their thing. But there was always something else to focus on - the music, the sex, the band, anything other than how he felt about Corey and how Corey felt about him. Even in Stone Sour, away from Joey, he hadn’t wanted to ask or know or be that vulnerable. Corey isn’t a person you want to be vulnerable in front of unless you know he’ll return the favor. Corey is sharp and manipulative and cunning. He will use whatever he needs to his advantage. Jim knows this about him. Jim doesn’t mind this because he knows how to not be vulnerable in front of Corey. Most of the time. 

He knows Corey has always known how he’s felt about him because Corey just knows these things. He knows that Corey can read him better than anyone else ever has. As much as he tries to close himself off from him, Corey manages to work his way under his skin again and again. There’s no resisting Corey. Not for long anyway. After a while, you long for Corey, for his approval, for his attention, for his love.

More than once, Jim has found himself trying to break this thing between off because he knows Corey loves Joey and they’re mean to be and all of that romantic bullshit, but he can’t help himself when Corey draws him in over and over again. He’ll never get rid of his feelings for Corey, no matter what he does. 

Corey’s already stroking his fingers against Jim’s entrance when Jim finally tunes back in to what’s going on. Corey doesn’t look put off or angry, so he must have still been reacting to him like he always does. The pleasure brings him back to reality and he gasps as Corey’s fingers push inside of him, curling against his sweet spot. Corey leans and licks a stripe up his cock and Jim whimpers as his cock twitches under Corey’s mouth. 

“There you are. You went away again.” Corey mumbles against Jim’s cock, hot breath drifting across it. 

“S-Sorry.” Jim pants, fingers twisting around the bars of the headboard. 

Corey gives his right hip a sharp nip as a warning before closing his lips around the head of Jim’s cock, making him gasp, thighs quivering on either side of Corey. 

Jim gets swept away on the waves of pleasure that Corey deals to him with fingers and mouth. The fire burning through him gets more and more intense, his gasping moans and whimpers getting louder as Corey pushes another finger into him. 

Corey spreads his fingers inside of Jim, stretching him open for his cock. He loves the noises Jim is making for him, the way his body moves as the pleasure ruins him. He keeps working Jim open for his cock, his own throbbing against the bed. Every noise Jim makes for him goes straight to his cock. 

Finally he can stand it no longer and pulls his fingers out of Jim, letting his cock slide out of his mouth with a wet pop. “You ready?” 

Jim opens his eyes, panting, and nods. “Please….”

Corey strokes Jim’s thigh for a moment. “Don’t worry. I’m going to take care of you.”

Jim nods again, trusting Corey. He watches as Corey picks up the lube again, stroking it over his cock. Corey stands on his knees between Jim’s outstretched legs, putting on a bit of a show for him as he slicks his cock up. He’s never been one to miss an opportunity to show off. He moans, shuddering at his own touch.   
He hooks Jim’s thighs over his hips, cursing the fact that Jim’s endlessly long legs make it a bit hard for him to wrap them around Corey’s waist, but he does his best. 

Corey guides his cock to Jim’s entrance, dragging the head through the slickness there just to work them both up a little more. Jim whines, pressing down against Corey, aching for him. 

Corey slowly, torturously slow, pushes into Jim. Jim can feel every inch of Corey’s cock as it sinks into him, throbbing and pulsing. He clenches around Corey’s cock, crying out as he presses against his sweet spot. Corey stills for a long moment, catching his breath as his cock twitches deep inside of Jim. He needs a moment to hold off his impending orgasm as that tight heat squeezes his cock. 

When Corey regains his composure, he braces himself over Jim, hands flat on the bed. He pulls back a bit and thrusts forward into Jim, making them both moan. Jim’s teeth catch in his bottom lip, his eyes squeezing shut tight enough that he sees explosions of color bursts behind his lids and the pressure makes his temples throb in pain.

Corey sets up a slow, firm pace inside of Jim. It’s not the usual “wham bam, thank you, ma’am” fucking that they usually do. There’s no roughness to Corey’s kisses, no underlying cruelty in his hands as he strokes every inch of Jim’s skin that he can reach. There’s emotions in the kiss and in the caresses that Jim’s almost afraid to name, so unlike what sex is like between them. It’s always fucking in the purest form between them. Sometimes, sometimes though, Jim can’t always hold back what he feels and he knows it shows in his eyes, in the way he looks at Corey and in the way he touches Corey, spilling from his fingertips across Corey’s skin, so much so that sometimes he thinks he can see it, spreading like ink over Corey’s skin. 

This is something else entirely. This….this is what he’d always imagined making love to be like when other people talked about it. He’d never really understood what they meant, but now….now he does. He gets it. He gets what makes falling in love worth it. He can feel that intimacy and that connection to Corey that he’s always longed for, even if he’d had a hard time admitting it to himself, much less to Corey. 

Corey leans down and kisses Jim as he keeps moving inside of him and Jim brings his hands up to curl around Corey’s shoulders, holding onto him. He arches into Corey, rubbing his cock against his skin, desperate for a little friction along his throbbing length. Corey adjusts the angle of his hips and then he’s nailing Jim’s sweet spot with every push forward and Jim can’t help the whine that escapes him. 

Corey pulls back, mouth sliding down to Jim’s neck again, sucking bruises here and there along the pale skin, marking him up. He always does. Jim feels like Corey doesn’t know if he wants him most of the time, but he damn sure doesn’t want anyone else to have him either. Corey’s always been possessive like that. Jim’s sure it probably stems from some of Corey’s childhood trauma and abandonment issues. He doesn’t fault Corey for having them because it’s not his fault, but he can fault him for not working on himself, trying to work out the damage done. Everyone’s got their own shit. Everyone’s responsible for their actions. Corey’s not special. Well, he is, but not in that way. 

A sharp bite on his collarbone brings Jim back to himself, back to Corey. Corey growls softly against his skin. “Am I boring you? Should I stop? Leave you here?” 

“N-No…” Jim curses himself for stuttering. 

Corey softens, but the thrust of his hips get harder and faster though he’s still not moving as roughly as he usually does. “Stay with me, hmm? You get lost in your head too much. I want you here with me.” 

Something in the way Corey says that makes tears sting Jim’s eyes and he doesn’t know what the fuck is wrong with him. He closes his eyes to cover it up, but nods in response to Corey, so that Corey knows he heard him. Another moan slips past his lips as Corey keeps moving inside of him with more purpose this time. 

The heat simmering in his blood gets more and more intense, an inferno threatening to consume him and leave only ashes behind. That’s how he feels about Corey a lot. That Corey will swallow him up and leave nothing but ashes in his wake. 

Corey pins Jim’s hands down against his pillow, crossed over each other, holding them in place with one hand while his other pinches and toys with Jim’s nipples. Jim gasps, cock twitching between them, the boiling lust pooling deep in his belly. He shudders, body starting to tense as he gets closer and closer to an orgasm as Corey fucks into him firmly, still hitting his sweet spot with every movement.

“You close, baby? You gonna come for me, Jamie? Huh? Come for me.” Corey breathes the words into Jim’s ear and Jim trembles, whimpering as his orgasm washes over him in a wave of white-hot pleasure as Corey bites down on his pulse point, the bit of pain making the pleasure all that more intense as he shakes apart underneath Corey.

Corey stills inside of Jim, letting him ride out the waves of pleasure. His own cock throbs hard inside of Jim and it takes all of his self control not to come right then and there, but he manages it somehow. He grits his teeth as Jim’s muscles spasm around him, hot and tight. 

Jim pants, sinking down against the bed as the aftershocks ruin him a little more before starting to fizzle out and fade. He’s feels wrung out, the orgasm more intense than normal and he suspects it has something to do with all the feelings involved in this session between them. 

He makes a startled noise when Corey starts moving inside of him again, eyes opening to look up at him. The scrape of pleasure over already over-stimulated nerves is borderline pain, but he doesn’t protest, his cock twitching against his stomach. 

“I’m not done with you yet, Jamie.” Corey says, voice soft and strained with pleasure as he keeps working his cock in and out of Jim. 

Jim’s mouth drops open in a wordless cry as Corey speeds up, moving faster and harder than before, chasing his own orgasm now. Tears streak down Jim’s cheeks at the jolts of pleasure and pain that spark over his nerves. There’s a high pitched, keening noise in the room and it takes him a moment to understand and realize that the noise is coming from his own throat as Corey drives into his sweet spot over and over again. 

Jim writhes under Corey, fingers twisting in the pillowcase as Corey drops his hand to grip one of Jim’s thighs hard enough to leave bruises in the shape of his fingertips. Jim can’t help but move his hips in time with Corey’s thrusts, arching his back up from the bed as another orgasm crashes into him. There’s less of a mess with this one as it wrings him out, but no less intense. It’s even more intense than the last one. His whole body feels like it’s being set on fire, burning away to nothing as the pleasure ruins him again. 

Corey follows him over the edge, thrusting once, twice more before burying himself deep inside of Jim and coming hard, head tossed back, breath stuttering out of his lungs as it hitches in his throat. His cock throbs hard inside of Jim, the pleasure incredible. Tears streak his cheeks as he slowly lets go of Jim’s thigh, smoothing his palm over it. He eases himself down on top of Jim, panting harshly. He can feel the heaving of Jim’s chest underneath himself as Jim suck in deep gulps of air too. 

Slowly they calm down. Jim relaxes under Corey’s solid weight as it presses him down into the bed. Usually Corey is up and getting dressed by now, sometimes even gone. Tonight though, he’s laying on Jim, listening to him breathe, and Jim isn’t sure what to do with that. He doesn’t know what to say to Corey now. He isn’t sure he could even make words and put them into sentences correctly at this point. His brain feels like it’s been melted. 

Corey shifts on top of him and slowly pulls out of him, making them both hiss and shiver. He leans over to the side table and grabs some tissues, cleaning Jim up and then himself. He throws them away and lays back down beside Jim with a soft sigh of pleasure. 

“What are you doing?” The words are out of Jim’s mouth before he even realizes he’d made the decision to speak. 

Corey turns his head and looks at Jim. “Laying down. Gonna cuddle you in a second.”

Jim blinks, perplexed. 

Corey sighs. “I’m trying, okay? I really am.”

“Because Joey’s pissed at you?” Jim asks, no heat in his voice.

Corey frowns. “No. Because I love you. I told you, this has nothing to do with Joey. This is about me and you and how I’ve treated you, knowing how you feel about me. I know I’ve been a real dick, okay? But I’m really trying to make up for it. I know I can’t undo it and that you probably hate me at least a little, but I can do this. I can try.”

Jim stares at Corey, really looking at him, feeling that he’s telling the truth again. Corey means what he says. He almost always does. He’s never been one to shy away from telling someone how he really feels about them. It was just harder with things like love and trust. He doesn’t know what to do with this information. He knows he doesn’t hate Corey, not even close, even though he’s wanted to many times over the years. There’s just something about Corey that makes Jim unable to hate him. He’s tried, but it’s never stuck. 

“What are we going to do?” Jima asks after a moment of silence between them.

“About what?” Corey arches an eyebrow, wanting Jim to be clear in his wants and needs too.

“About this. About us. You and Joey always fall back together eventually. That’s how it’s always been and how it always will be. And I know you love him more.” Jim looks away from Corey. 

“What do you want to do about it?” Corey counters, propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at Jim.

Jim hesitates, not looking at Corey. He doesn’t know what he wants. He doesn’t know if he wants to be with Corey, doesn’t know if he can handle that shift in their relationship. He’s gotten so used to loving Corey in this way and not having Corey love him back the way he wants that he’s not sure if he can do this, if he can ask for what he wants, what he’s longed for. It sounds stupid, he knows. He knows it too well. He feels stupid as Corey stares down at him, waiting for his answer. Who just avoids getting everything they want from the person who loves them? Who just lays there in silence when they’re being offered things they’ve dreamed about? 

But there’s just something holding him back from jumping on this. A little voice in the back of his head that warns him that Corey will just go back to Joey. He will leave him and Jim won’t know what to do if Corey breaks his heart like that. He’s grown used to this kind of heartbreak, the one that’s born of not getting what you want, not completely. He’s learned to love with this one. He doesn’t know how he’ll learn to deal with a fresh, new heartbreak that will be even worse than this one. 

He can’t deny that he wants this though. He wants the chance to make something work with Corey, to really give them a chance. His heart pounds in his chest and he wishes he were stronger, strong enough to resist and not get pulled down into Corey’s web, but he isn’t. He knows he isn’t. 

Corey waits patiently for a few minutes while Jim tries to sort himself out before leaning down and kissing him gently. He tries to convey everything he feels for him with the kiss, one hand stroking Jim’s cheek softly. Jim makes a quiet, startled noise as Corey kisses him, but then relents, kissing Corey back. 

He knows he’s going to fall back into Corey’s web just as easily as he ever did. Corey breaks the kiss gently, pressing their foreheads together, breathing the same air, staying close. “I love you. I do. I really, really do.”

 

“I love you too. I want this. Even if it ends badly, I want this.” Jim whispers, keeping his eyes closed, a tear seeping from under his lashes, streaking down his cheek. 

Corey smiles, fingers brushing away the tear on Jim’s cheek. “I was hoping you would. I wanna be better to you. Give you what you deserve.”

Jim shivers and relaxes into Corey when Corey lays back down and pulls him close. He doesn’t know where this is going or what they’re going to do or how this will end, but it’s something he’s willing to try. He can’t deny what he really wants anymore. He can’t deny that he loves Corey deeply, has loved him for a long time, and to finally have this chance, despite his concerns over how this will go, he just can’t deny himself it. 

He turns onto his side, draping an arm over Corey’s waist. Corey’s arm is around him and he settles down, tired now from their physical activities and the emotional roller coaster. Corey’s fingers dance slowly over his skin and he hums softly in contentment. 

He focuses on their bare skin pressing together, how warm and solid Corey feels against him. They rarely have time like this together to just be. Just to be with each other and enjoy each other. Jim will take it, will always take whatever Corey is willing to give him. Maybe that makes him desperate and pathetic, but he can’t help himself. He never has been able to help himself when it comes to Corey.

He wonders if this is a good idea for more than one reason, not just his own issues, but Corey’s too. He’s seen the way Joey and Corey are in their relationship. He’s seen the fights, the screaming matches, the angry and misery. He’s seen the way Corey gets possessive and obsessive and jealous. It’s too late to go back now and he’ll deal with the consequences if they arise. Maybe he and Corey will be different from Corey and Joey. Maybe Joey just brings out that side in Corey. 

“You’re so lost in your head tonight. What are you thinking about?” Corey asks, fingers skimming over Jim’s arm.   
Jim is quiet for a moment. “Us. About how this will work between us.”

Corey nods. “Yeah. I know. I can feel that you’re worried. You’ve tensed up a lot. But look, we’ll figure everything out together. I promise.”

That reassurance helps Jim calm down and relax again. He nods as well. “Okay.”

“We’ll be okay. We’ve got each other and we’ll work together and it’ll be okay.” Corey murmurs as much to himself as to Jim. 

Jim hopes he’s making the right choice, but he knows there was never really a choice in the first place. His choice is always going to be Corey in whatever way he can have him. He shifts closer to Corey, sighing softly. “I want this to work.”

“I do too. And we’ll make it work as best we can.” Corey says, really trying to reassure Jim, wanting him to be okay with this.

“Yeah. We will.” Jim gives Corey a small smile before laying his head down, closing his eyes. 

Corey smiles back, leaning to kiss Jim softly, keeping it slow and sweet and soft. 

Jim hums into the kiss, feeling the shift in their relationship and enjoying it and what it means.

He’s finally got what he’s always wanted out of Corey. Corey is finally willing to give him what he’s been waiting for since he realized he was in love with him. 

Maybe this really will work out for them.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I Have The Best of Intentions (The Taste of Blood in Your Mouth)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16538375) by [sleep_and_feel_no_pain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleep_and_feel_no_pain/pseuds/sleep_and_feel_no_pain)




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